Friday - Day 46

Just wanted to send a short update and prayer request. It's been a good week - a few "downs" but mostly "ups". My energy continues to return and no signs of infection! Yesterday I went to the clinic and my lab values seem to be declining (both electrolytes and my blood counts), right now we're going to just adjust my diet, watch it through the weekend and see what things look like on Tuesday. I pray that yesterday's results were just a fluke. If anything, probably a side effect of the multitude of meds that they have me on, but if it continues would require IV infusions and ??? So, that is my prayer request, for lab values to return to normal. (Plus a safe weekend of travel for my parents who are going to KC for a few days, a friend has volunteered to spend the weekend with me - should be fun.)

a sad loss

It's day 44 and I am feeling pretty good, not gaining any weight back but can definitely feel my strength starting to return. My doctor's appt yesterday was uneventful as they still seemed very pleased with my progress. They've started decreasing the dose of 1 of my anti-rejection meds which I see as a good sign! The tastebuds are starting to return and my hands and feet hardly ever burn. They warned me that the skin would probably peel and they were right - almost all of my hands have peeled (not a big deal), but last night my feet started peeling and I've now lost all the very precious calluses that took years of basketball, ultimate frisbee and softball to develop. For the athletes out there, I'm sure you can understand my sadness at the loss. I guess if that is the worst part of my week, I'll survive :) God bless you all!
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." ~ Psalm 139:14

40% there!!

Today is day 42, hard to believe that it's been 6 weeks since I received my transplant. Most of the days have blended together which is probably a blessing, I'm afraid that the next 8 weeks might not go as quickly now that I'm feeling better and wishing that I could go home. I pray that I'm able to just accept the situation, relax, and enjoy the fact that I don't have to "do" anything except regain my strength. (not an easy task for me as many of you know!) Not many opportunities in our adult lives to just sit back, reflect and deepen our relationship and faith in our Lord. I pray that I am smart enough and disciplined enough to do just that.
This weekend was good - each day continues to be better than the previous. We walked across the Missouri on Saturday (not as far as I had thought) and later that evening I was able to catch up with good friends from KC. Tomorrow it's back to the clinic for more labs and to get results from last week's - I picked up CMV (a virus) while in the hospital s they've been treating me and watching it closely. Hopefully numbers are going down so that I can get off the medicine!
"But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have made the sovereign Lord my refuge." ~Psalm 73:28

Day 39

Just a quick update to wish everyone a Happy Friday and a good weekend and let you know that things are going well today. Feet are virtually pain free and even when they do hurt it's tolerable. I went to the clinic today and they continued to be pleased with my labs and progress. Since they've obviously done this before, I'll take their word for it. It's a little warm and humid today so probably won't get a walk in but tomorrow it's supposed to cool down so I think we're going to take a field trip to some pedestrian bridge that crosses the Missouri. Wish me luck that I can make it over and back!

Day 37 - Rejoice?

Status quo around here - each day things tend to get a little better, a few backslides now and then but nothing I haven't been through before, and nothing I won't overcome again! I truly believe that God's grace has enabled me to accept this chapter of my life - I am far from understanding it but am ok with the fact that I don't know God's "big picture". I'm only looking at 1 piece of the puzzle (and probably the back of the piece) while God sees the finished product. Trying to figure out His plan and reasons would be a futile and frustrating exercise. But what I wonder is to what degree I've truly accepted God's plan. The bible talks about rejoicing in our adversity and I'm quite certain that I haven't been rejoicing over the past 6 months. I'm not fighting His will or bitter, but I think there's a big difference between accepting and being grateful. I'm not sure that I could ever honestly get to that point. Over the next 63 days I pray that I can look at where I've been and be able to say, "this is God's will, He is faithful and sovereign, and I am better for it;" to rejoice in knowing that God is active in my life - pruning me so that I can be a more productive part of His kingdom. Putting aside my desires for truly important desires that will count for eternity - all to His glory.
"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4

Day 34

Happy Sunday to everyone! It's a nice cool morning in Omaha. I took a walk with Mom and Dad this morning and wow, it's amazing how much stamina and muscle you lose after basically not doing anything for 3 weeks and not being able to walk for 2. Very sad! You always hear that if you're in shape once, it's easier to get there again so I'm planning on that! I think my feet are pretty much healed up and my hands are better except a few fingers on my right hand - praise God. Still waiting on the stomach and mouth. Without a doubt, these side effects and setbacks have been challenging, but I know that God will use all things for good and somehow this is going to be glorifying! I got a letter from my Compassion kid, Jhonny, and for a 13y/o in Bolivia I thought this was a very interesting comment. He said, "God is going to do something wonderful to heal you always...God is going to heal you, don't worry; He is slow but guaranteed." The "guaranteed" part is much easier to think about than the "slow," but I will be patient - all in His good and perfect time.
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

God is Faithful

As always, God is faithful and doesn't give us more than we can handle! Thank you for all the prayers, esp. over the past 24 hours. My hands and feet have gotten remarkably better! They're not perfect, but I was able to sleep last night, no longer need to constantly have them soaking in cool water and was able to walk around the hospital today without too much discomfort. I know that God always hears our prayers, but it's so nice when His will aligns with my prayers and answers come so quickly! The swelling in my legs is going down steadily and my labs continue to look good. I pray that my appetite continues to return, that I can start taking walks and that life gets a little more "boring" when it comes to my health. I don't need to be the patient with crazy side effects that gets all the consults!
"Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I know that you hear me always" ~John 11:42

Day 30

I wish I had better news, but it's still a struggle around here. My hands and feet are not improving as quickly as I'd hoped, in fact last night was probably the worst they've been. The burning is unbelievable, if I could have slept in the bathtub, I would have. I pray that was the low point and it's just up from here because tolerating anything more will have to be all God - my reserves are exhausted. Maybe that's the lesson. The further along this path that I travel, the less I understand and that's probably part of the trust/faith lesson too.
I went to the doctor yesterday and my labs continue to look very good. The final pathology report was finally back and it was rather inconclusive - looked like it could be early GVH but they couldn't say for sure. The doctor didn't seem too concerned by the report since he said we wouldn't do anything different treatment-wise unless symptoms got worse. For the next 70 days, I'll be watching, waiting and healing. Appointments every Tues and Thurs for labs and to see the doctor. Every day will be better than the last!
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze." ~ Isaiah 43:2

Freedom!!!!

It's Day 28 post transplant and I'm finally getting to move to our apt! I guess we'll call this Freedom Phase II. Not feeling too different than yesterday but they figured from this point I can heal out of the hospital just as well as in. Until my hands and feet get better, they said I'd need to come back to the clinic for daily checks, after that I'll only have to go the clinic 2 or 3 times/week. Regardless, I'm just looking forward to feeling a little better each day and can't wait until I get my tastebuds back and can take a walk again!
Have a great week - Happy Monday!!

Day 27 - see the light???

Well it's Day 27 and I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel - hallelujah!!! My feet still feel like someone took a potato peeler to them and like I touched an iron with my hands, but I'm able to eat and take the 100 pills they give me each day and no fevers! They still don't know the final biopsy results but seem confident that it's not GVH. They're blaming everything on delayed side effects from the chemo - that's a silver lining since all those side effects should go away, eventually. All my lab work remains very good so all seems well with the transplant! Since I'm off the IV meds and able to eat, I should get discharged from the hospital tomorrow or Tuesday - yea!! It will be sooo nice to be at the apartment, 34 days is a long time to be at the med ctr!
Thanks for everyone's prayers, words of encouragement and nice letters - I couldn't do it without you! I got a card the other day with this quote - not scripture, but feels very appropriate for my current state (maybe this is why my feet feel burned :)
If you're going through hell, keep going. ~Winston Churchill

Day 25

I guess it would be an understatement to say that things haven't gone as I had imagined the past 2 weeks and I'm starting to feel myself wearing down. Each day is slowly getting better, but struggles continue with being able to eat and take my medicine. Since everyone seems surprised that my recovery is so delayed, yesterday they decided to do an upper GI to rule out Graft vs Host (GVH), ulcers... Visually they said that I have gastritis but we won't know the result of the biopsies until tomorrow. I'm still on TPN but am hoping that we can stop it this weekend. Two days ago I decided that I needed a little excitement so ran 104 fever again. Good times, thankfully it lasted less than 24hours. And the newest crazy thing to happen is that I've developed blisters on my palms and very tender hands and feet. Feels like I walked on a really hot pool deck and wasn't smart enough to find the shade. No one knows the cause for this either so must be the stem cells ;)
“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.” ~Psalm 51:12

Tuesday --- Day 22

It has been a very long 12 days for Janna. This is day 22 since transplant and everyone expected Janna to be out of the hospital COOP by now. But, each day is better than the one before. She is eating small amounts so the doctors are cutting back on the IV feedings. She can swallow pills so they are weaning her off the IV med., her fevers are gone, and she is enjoying walking outside again.

The blood counts are great and the doctors are confident that the transplant is right on track. Hopefully by the end of the week we can go back to the apartment. We are all very weary and that will be a real energizer.

We are taking small steps...all in God's good time....sometimes hard to accept. I'm sure there is a rainbow at the end of this storm.

Please continue to remember Janna in your prayers.

Ida May (mom)

The days keep adding up, I MUST be close!

25 days since admission, 18 days since transplant, 10 days since engraphment, 9 days of fever, 7 days of vomiting, 7 days of not being able to eat, 10 days of severe mucositis (the skin of my entire GI tract has sloughed off). Sorry for the ugliness of this picture, but now you know why Mom's been blogging for me the past several days. And why this will go down as one of the hardest parts of my cancer treatment so far. I actually am starting to feel better today, but still can't eat so they had to start me on TPN/Lipids - nutrition through an IV. Not an ideal situation, but hopefully it will give my body the boost it needs and then we can stop it! They've also put me on a steroid to try and calm down all the inflammation. The good news is that they have no doubt that the transplant has taken and those numbers are looking great. If it wasn't for these crazy side effects, we'd be back to the apt already!