I've been home for 10 days, am almost unpacked, and have returned to work. I had a nice weekend – hanging out with friends, enjoying the sunshine, sharing a meal with the folks, and standing up for those who can't speak for themselves at Life Chain. It's amazing how easy it is to settle back into our routines. Omaha is starting to seem a bit surreal, (even though my lack of stamina and the remaining side effects serve as daily reminders of the battle). Even during the 100 days, it was hard to wrap my mind around the reality of what I had been through and what was to come. Is this clouding of reality God's mercy, or just the human mind's tendency to block out unpleasant memories? (or maybe the chemo really did turn my brain to mush.)
God has definitely given me the strength to take 1 day at a time, not dwell on the past or worry about the future, but I don't want to forget what I've been through. If I'm going to endure it, I want to gain something from the experience; I want to be a better person for it; I want others to benefit from it. If I want to profit from adversity, I must remember the trials and the lessons learned from them. (hopefully without physical reminders) – not push forward, frantically trying to regain "normalcy" without regard for the last 8 months. If I start to lose focus, forget all the lessons learned or lose sight of what's truly important, I hope that you'll hold me accountable. God wouldn't let me fight cancer and go through a transplant if He didn't have a way to make it all glorifying. From time to time, I may need to be reminded of that!
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Christ is revealed.” ~ I Peter 1: 6-7
