You’ll have to bear with me on this one because I have a feeling that I might start to ramble, but it has a happy ending. In all honesty, this weekend was rough for me. I was at the 2 week post chemo point, blood counts were in the toilet, still sick and fatigued, started running low grade fevers and was really starting to drain mentally. Got word from Omaha on Friday that my transplant won’t actually happen until mid-June which is when the “100-day” countdown starts. And to top it off, it was cold. So frustrated, tearful and afraid of what the future holds, I shared my state of mind with our heavenly Father and headed to bed. Middle of the night, I wake up with “The Words I Would Say” by Sidewalk Prophets running through my head. Specifically the lines “Never give up hope… God’s got his hand on you, so don’t live your life in fear”. I’m not a big SP fan, don’t have their CD and actually had to google search these lines to even figure out who sings the song (surprise, surprise). If you’ve never heard it, I recommend it. Anyway, woke up this morning, felt much better than I had all weekend; went to the clinic and all my labs are on the rise – WBC’s went from 0.1 to 1.0, platelets and Hgb are hanging tight. (clinic had me in and out in under 45 minutes – crazy!) I’m not scheduled for anymore labs until next week. Now all I need is for it to stop raining. :)
God talks to us in all sorts of ways and he won’t give us more than we can bear. Tell Him your fears - He might not answer right away or in the way you’re looking for, but He always hears and never stops walking by your side.
