continued...

I've attached the "to be continued" to the bottom of the previous blog so see below...

March Madness

I hate that lately I only actually get around to blogging when things aren't going the best, I've procrastinated posting about how great the first 2 months of the year have been or how blessed I was to be able to take my first “warm vacation” since 2009. Key West with great friends was a perfect way to end February (especially since it allowed me to miss some nasty KC weather). But, as I said, I didn't manage to get a happy blog posted so now it will have to wait. A week or so ago I started with what seemed like an innocent cold – but in the back of my mind, I knew better - none are innocent for me. Last week was a bit of a roller coaster with a bad day followed by a good day. Just enough good to keep me from getting too worried. By Friday the ball dropped, and my oxygen levels were low enough to get me admitted to the hospital, but I didn't want to go to the hospital. I know what the hospital offers and I was already doing all those things: fluids – check, breathing treatments – check, steroids – check, antibiotics – check. In my pessimistic view of the world, the only thing the hospital was going to offer me was lack of good rest and exposure to a bunch of additional germs. Probably not the wisest, but decided I was sticking to my plan until Monday – if not better, I'd go to the hospital. I'm not going to lie, the past 3 days have been rough, especially the mornings. I've spent a lot of time on my knees and have shed plenty of tears. Tears of frustration, tears of fear, tears from hearing the voice of your mom, tears from the feeling of going completely broken before our Lord. God always gives us the help we need, but in the middle of the storm it can still feel pretty hopeless. I know that it will get better, or it won't and there's not much I can do to affect that. As a good friend reminded me today, we all know who's managing this ride and it's no one on this earth. To be continued.....

Update: March 25. Sunday evening after writing the above post, my lungs seemed to relax and open up, and I've been slowly feeling better since then - yea, praise God! I'm definitely not 100% but feel like the tide has turned. It's frustrating to think about the future because once I get a cough like this it seems to take 2 months to go away, so I'm going to not think about how long it will take for this to go away and instead try to be content/grateful for today (a day where I'm able to go to work and am not on oxygen!)