Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day 2012 has been a good one – spending the day with Mom and Dad, enjoying the garden, talking in the sun room, being able to cook for them instead of the reverse. I wasn't really planning on posting a blog today, but the fact that it's Mother’s Day and the sermon this morning inspired me to send some props to Mom (and Dad). The readings today centered on “love” and what true love looks like. Very different from the secular, Hollywood, convenient “love” that we see every day, the bible talks about a much deeper love. The kind of love that leads one to “lay down their life” for someone else. That kind of selfless love is difficult for us as humans and many people probably never excperience it from another human being. But, I can say that I am fortunate enough to be the recipient of that kind of love, and I have been for the past 30+ years. My parents have always been there for us, putting our needs in front of their desires, making sure we had what we needed, protecting us, teaching us, giving us the freedom to go our own way, but never turning their backs on us. I'd hope that a lot of you can say similar things about your parents. The part that really resonated as unique and special was when they talked about “laying down your life”- that takes things to a new level, much easier said than done. Two years ago when I received the diagnosis of Stage IV cancer, Mom and Dad “laid down their lives” to help me fight for mine. Without hesitation they gave up their “lives” to sit with me in the hospital, take care of me when I was sick, move away from their home! There's a lot that I don't remember, but I can still hear Mom telling me they would do whatever it took, nothing else mattered.
I am so blessed to have them in my life and can say without a shadow of a doubt, that I am truly loved.And with that, I'd like to say Happy Mother's Day to the greatest Mom. I love you!
“There is no greater love than to lay down one's life…” ~ John 15:13

Saved by the grace of God

On this beautiful, 80+ degree day I decided it would be a good idea to mow the grass. First time that I've personally attempted it this spring. The reasonable thing to do would be to do it in parts, and I considered that. But after I got started and realized how hot and itchy I was getting, I decided that I should just push through and finish it so that I could go shower! But, I guess even when mowing the grass, God knows how much we can handle because the mower ran out of gas before I did ;) Better luck next time. In all seriousness, I'm doing well, getting stronger every day, and this is a big week for me – 2 years of remission! Who would have guessed? (Well, I know that we would, but who in the medical community would have thought?!!) Not sure how it's possible, but once in a while, I seem to forget what was going on 2 years ago and have to remind myself that every day I'm alive is a miracle and a sign of God's power and love. Sure, there are some things that I really wish I could still do, but in the big picture, I can do so much and am so blessed. I know that God's not done and hopefully he has some more miracles up his sleeve, but in the meantime, my “new normal” is going pretty well and I'm really enjoying the spring! “Surely God is my help, the Lord is the one who sustains me.” ~Psalm 54:4

Better than worse

Another day trip to Omaha complete. Uneventful, which is good, but not miraculous. Dr Vose is going to try again to wean me off the steroids – if all goes well, I should be off them by mid-summer. Labs look good. Lung tests are better than they were in February, but not better than they were in January. I'm scheduled to go back to Omaha in May but won't repeat any tests until June.
The weather is beautiful and I had a nice weekend – caught up with friends, celebrated another birthday with Dad and NO TORNADOS! Hope you're all doing well!

"Magic" Kingdom

I don't really know how to describe my vacation to Disney World, but one thing I can say is that God was so merciful. I've been praying for 2 months that I would be able to breathe at least enough to go to the park with Connor and Katie, and maybe even be able to play in the pool. I've had some good days recently so was optimistic that with a few breaks I'd be able to get by. Well God had more in mind than “getting by,” he gave me a wonderful Easter gift and the only word I can use to describe it is merciful. While in Florida, I felt as close to good as I have in a long time. I was able to walk up stairs without getting too winded, could carry on a conversation while we walked, kept up with the kids at Disney, played in the pool for the first time in over 2 years, and to finish it off, was able to move very quickly (not quite run) through the airport to get my luggage on the plane (only to find out it was delayed!). There was a lot of standing in lines and riding on buses which I know helped, but I was able to “DO” and didn't need 30 minutes of recovery time afterward.
Today, I've been trying to catch up and have felt fairly typical. Monday I head back to Omaha and they'll repeat the lung funtion tests. Maybe they'll reveal an objective explanation as to why I had a nice vacation (ie my numbers will have improved), or maybe they won't. Either way, I know that God gave me back some lung function, even if only temporarily. Time will tell what happens from here, but the hope that I'll be able to slowly return to an active life style has been refreshed.

Happy Easter!

I've mentioned my desire to “be healthy for Easter” a couple times but never really said why so as to decrease the disappointment if it didn't happen. But Easter is now here and I'm feeling pretty good – so what am I going to do, you might ask. I'm going to Disney World! No, seriously! Tomorrow I'm flying to Florida to spend Spring Break with Lisa and the kids. I doubt that I'll be able to keep up but have been assured that the Magic Kingdom has plenty of benches. It doesn't really matter, I'm just so grateful to be taking a trip somewhere other than Omaha!

What an amazing holiday we celebrate this weekend – remembering the greatest miracle of all time. Not just that Christ died and rose from the dead after fulfilling 100's of years of prophecies (the odds of which are greater than it was to win the Powerball last week), but perhaps the greatest miracle – that he did it out of love for US. Whether we love him or not, believe in him or not, spend time with him or allow our “important” commitments to push him out – he knew that we could never love him the way he loves us, yet still chose to die for each and every one of us. What an amazing expression of love! I know that's probably not novel news for most of you (and if it is, please call me). Anyway, since the best way to sum up Easter in 1 word is “love,” I started thinking of all the things I “love” (obviously a different level of “love”)
I love sunsets, sunny days on the beach, summer thunderstorms, and the peacefulness after a snowfall. I love the smell of barbeque, McDonalds ice cream, being on the water, good competition and a good massage. I love the sound of children's giggles, children's prayers, seeing people smile and having a good laugh. I love being surrounded by a supportive community and the feeling you get from helping others. I love my friends. I love my family. I love the faithfulness of our God and that He blesses us with future and a hope! Happy Easter!

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” ~ John 3:16

Sunny days

It’s sunny, the flowers are blooming (weeds are growing) and I’m definitely feeling better this week than for the past few! It’s easier to talk and I’m no longer straining muscles in my back from coughing. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m “better” because I can’t really remember how I felt before all of this started in February. So I’m not sure if I’m back to my “new baseline” but at this point I’m just grateful to be progressively improving. One day at a time and try to make the most of each of them.

Not the best week...

So, it's been another set of not so great days. (Glad there was plenty of basketball on TV since I spent the weekend on the couch). Can't really figure out why, but it's once again become difficult to breathe or carry on a conversation. It's the worst in the morning and then gradually seems to loosen up throughout the day with lots of coughing (I feel bad for my co-workers, esp those that share my office). I don't have a fever, sore throat or any other aches and pains that you would expect to accompany a virus so not really sure what triggered the set back this time. Dr Vose decreased my steroids a little bit when I saw her last week so maybe that's it. Who knows?!! (Yes, I did contact Omaha to see if they know, but am not expecting to hear anything earth-shattering). While I wait to hear back from them, I guess I'll keep doing what I do which is push on. Not sure that there's any other option to be honest. And things could be a lot worse – I could write a list a mile long of situations which would be worse. Top of that list would have to be losing my faith or questioning God's sovereignty. There's no way that I could get up every morning and face the challenges of the day if I didn't believe in something greater, that there was a plan beyond my comprehension, that suffering could have a purpose. My prayers always go out to those experiencing tough times - that they will feel God's presence and be given faith beyond measure. Through all of this, I've come to realize that in the big picture, that gift is much more valuable than any dose of healing.