keep pushin'

Next week will be 2 years since I was packing up to leave Omaha after completing my 100 days – hard to believe. I think I'll go to Ohio to celebrate! Had a pretty good trip to Omaha today. We had lunch with a friend which was fun and all my labs looked good. (Side note – don't let anyone fool you about the wonders of electronic medical records – UNMC is updating their system and nothing transferred over. My visit took 3-4x as long and the nurse had to ask me my diagnosis and if I had any other medical history! Seriously?? There aren't enough hours in the day. She quickly realized that I wasn't going to provide her with a verbal rehash of the past 3 years so she's going to find the old records and manually transfer the info. They think it will be better in a YEAR!) Anyway, Dr Vose is ready to start weaning my anti-rejection med. I know that the medicine has side effects and I'm glad that she's that happy with my progress, but to be honest, it makes me a little nervous. The thought of going back into rejection is awful, not to mention the fact that my lungs can't take any more damage. After 2 years, I've finally reached a place where things seem to be “boring”and it's nice. I'd kind of like to stay here a little while. It's a good thing Dr Vose is here to push the envelope. Guess it's always good to have someone in your life to challenge you. When you get comfortable you get lazy, and then start falling behind. Seems like that's the case in all areas – I know its true in my spiritual life. As soon as things are going smoothly I start to slack on my quiet time, then the prayer quality goes down and before I know it, I'm completely out of touch with what really matters. Glad that God doesn't “move on” when we get busy and distracted.

A busy, hot summer

It's been pointed out to me that I am falling behind in the blog posting arena, and upon looking back, it's been 2 months since my last post – yikes! I wish I could say, “time flies when you're having fun”, but that's not really the case. I'm afraid it's the “hum drum” of normalcy, which isn't such a bad thing. Not much has changed in a positive or negative direction. I've been feeling good. Still struggling to regain my strength despite the limitations that my lungs present. I don't feel like I've really done much this summer. Not much energy to go out and do all the fun “summer” things, but I think that's primarily a result of the ridiculous heat. Guess we'll find out as the temps drop this fall. I signed up for fall volleyball which will be a good test. Work has been rather busy with vacations and all the kids needing physicals before school. And, the past 2 weeks have been pretty busy with meetings and various commitments, and ending with a nice visit from my sister and her kids. That was very fun and gave me an excuse to take a little time off work for something other than a trip to Omaha! This weekend I had planned to just relax and watch it rain – since the weathermen said we had a 90% chance of getting 1-3” - I did some relaxin', but no rain! Oh well, guess it hit west of here and the farmers probably need it worse than me. I don't have anything super inspirational to share. Just glad that God continues to be good and still amazed and grateful that I'm able to do everything that I can. I don't have to look far to discover that many people have it much worse than I do.

Lengthening the leash

The days keep clicking by, each one being more amazing than the prior according to the statisticians! Just finished up all my “2 year” checks in Omaha and things are still stable. Blood counts are all good, osteoporosis is not getting worse (maybe a little better in my spine), chest x-ray and lung tests look the same - like an 80 year old smoker. I honestly think it might have looked a little better 10 days ago, but I managed to pick up a cold that settled in my chest. Maybe it would have only looked like I had been smoking for 60 years ;) Oh well, doesn't really change anything, just a number on the paper. Dr Vose is going to try and stop my steroids so prayers that my body tolerates it would be greatly appreciated. I've been on them for about 9 months now which can't be helping the bones! Other than that, the transplant meds are messing with my cholesterol so I have to go see my primary care provider and discuss the possibility of more meds :( It's probably been a couple years since I even saw her, I'm sure she's going to love seeing my chart land on her desk! So, that's about it. I don't have to go back to Omaha until first of September as long as all goes well – maybe the heat wave will be gone by then!!!

The Big 2

Two year anniversary of my stem cell transplant (or 2nd Birthday according to some) – no matter what you call it, it's still hard to believe all that's happened. So much has changed, but the same faithful God continues to give me a peace that I can't explain. After 2 years, I still have a hard time coming up with an answer when people say, “how are you?”. Such a simple question, yet I feel like I can't do it justice. What I really want to say is, “considering that I shouldn't be here, I'm doing great and it's a total God thing.” I can go through entire days and not really think about what's happened which is amazing. Thinking about today, I looked up the gift for 2nd anniversary and it's china – pretty appropriate for me right now. I still feel rather fragile and know that I need to be “handling [my health] with care” but the miracles of my life are more beautiful every day. This week I was reminded again of how quick things can change – I've had several weeks of feeling really good and then out of the blue, Tuesday I had a headache, sorethroat, cough...overall crummy. Honestly, I was a little nervous that I was in for another rough spell, but by Wednesday afternoon I was feeling pretty good. Guess I'll just have to wait, see and pray!
Anyway, no big celebration planned for the Big 2 - I'm going to spend the afternoon helping dad sling honey. A friend is bringing her kids over to watch, so I'm sure that at some point we'll end up at Penguin Park or eating icecream (hard to beat the zebra cones from Big Burger!)

oh and of course, a big “thank you” to Keith – wouldn't have this day without ya!

“this is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” ~1 John 3:16-17

Good days...

The weeks keep flying by and I can honestly say that I've been feeling good – probably better than a lot of people that I see every day. God has been good. Last weekend I was blessed to have the opportunity (and strength) to roadtrip to Indianapolis with Cindy, TJ and Scott. Keith met us there and it was a great weekend. Keith and I opted out of the 95 and sunny Indy 500 and instead spent the day hanging out and hiking around a bird sanctuary. It's been a long time since I went on a “hike” and it felt great. (Plus, I knew K could carry me back if I over-did it :) Other than that – life has been good around KC. Tonight I was driving home from Mom and Dad's and caught myself singing in the car – the ease of it caught me off guard since I haven't been able to sing in so many months. And the lyrics? “I must go through the valley to stand upon the mountain of God” by 3rd Day. (Don't get the wrong idea, I won't be joining the choir anytime soon!)
I don't have any big plans for the summer – weddings, showers, BBQ's. Probably staying fairly close to home. Next trip to Omaha will be mid-June.

“He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” ~ Psalm 40:3

Happy Mother's Day!

Mother's Day 2012 has been a good one – spending the day with Mom and Dad, enjoying the garden, talking in the sun room, being able to cook for them instead of the reverse. I wasn't really planning on posting a blog today, but the fact that it's Mother’s Day and the sermon this morning inspired me to send some props to Mom (and Dad). The readings today centered on “love” and what true love looks like. Very different from the secular, Hollywood, convenient “love” that we see every day, the bible talks about a much deeper love. The kind of love that leads one to “lay down their life” for someone else. That kind of selfless love is difficult for us as humans and many people probably never excperience it from another human being. But, I can say that I am fortunate enough to be the recipient of that kind of love, and I have been for the past 30+ years. My parents have always been there for us, putting our needs in front of their desires, making sure we had what we needed, protecting us, teaching us, giving us the freedom to go our own way, but never turning their backs on us. I'd hope that a lot of you can say similar things about your parents. The part that really resonated as unique and special was when they talked about “laying down your life”- that takes things to a new level, much easier said than done. Two years ago when I received the diagnosis of Stage IV cancer, Mom and Dad “laid down their lives” to help me fight for mine. Without hesitation they gave up their “lives” to sit with me in the hospital, take care of me when I was sick, move away from their home! There's a lot that I don't remember, but I can still hear Mom telling me they would do whatever it took, nothing else mattered.
I am so blessed to have them in my life and can say without a shadow of a doubt, that I am truly loved.And with that, I'd like to say Happy Mother's Day to the greatest Mom. I love you!
“There is no greater love than to lay down one's life…” ~ John 15:13

Saved by the grace of God

On this beautiful, 80+ degree day I decided it would be a good idea to mow the grass. First time that I've personally attempted it this spring. The reasonable thing to do would be to do it in parts, and I considered that. But after I got started and realized how hot and itchy I was getting, I decided that I should just push through and finish it so that I could go shower! But, I guess even when mowing the grass, God knows how much we can handle because the mower ran out of gas before I did ;) Better luck next time. In all seriousness, I'm doing well, getting stronger every day, and this is a big week for me – 2 years of remission! Who would have guessed? (Well, I know that we would, but who in the medical community would have thought?!!) Not sure how it's possible, but once in a while, I seem to forget what was going on 2 years ago and have to remind myself that every day I'm alive is a miracle and a sign of God's power and love. Sure, there are some things that I really wish I could still do, but in the big picture, I can do so much and am so blessed. I know that God's not done and hopefully he has some more miracles up his sleeve, but in the meantime, my “new normal” is going pretty well and I'm really enjoying the spring! “Surely God is my help, the Lord is the one who sustains me.” ~Psalm 54:4