Thursday, June 13, 2013

Happy 3rd Birthday/Anniversary!!

As I sit in the car, headed back home from a long day in Omaha, I thought I'd try to put down some thoughts about where I am and where I've been. I left Dr Vose's office a little confused – she seemed happy, but we didn't have the lab results back, the lung tests looked the same (maybe a little worse) and my bones are weaker (earning me a trip to another specialist). Bottom line, today's visit wasn't super uplifting but it does mark a milestone that I wasn't predicted to reach and for that I'm grateful. Since I last wrote, life has been good. I've been able to travel, I'm back on the softball field, my volleyball team took 1st (I finally got an overhand serve over the net!) and I've invested a lot of time in a new project at work which will hopefully result in healthier families. Despite all the busyness, all the “things”, I feel like I've gotten lazy in the areas that truly matter. I've allowed myself to get caught up in the blur of life. I've lost the discipline that comes with a well-defined goal. For the majority of the past 3 years, I had a clearly defined purpose – to live. My days weren't easy, but the decisions often were and my days were very “ordered”. If something didn't improve or protect my health, if it didn't get me closer to my goal, I didn't do it. And most importantly, I kept in close touch with God. This singleness of purpose gave clarity to my world in a time when things seemed to be in chaos. Now I'm not really sure where I'm going. I know that God is calling me to something and I need to take the time to figure out this new purpose so that this gift of a 2nd chance at life isn't wasted. I'm currently reading a book by Matthew Kelly and he seems to sum it up rather well: “At times it seems as if I am progressing, while at other times I cannot help but feel that I am slipping back down a mountain I have struggled so hard to climb. All in all, I have learned that my feelings are a poor indication of the work God is actually doing in my soul. I have come to believe that at every turn in the road, God is drawing us along the path, whether we are aware of it or not. My courage to accept the present and my hope to look toward the future come from remembering how God has used the circumstances of my past to achieve his purpose in my life.”
 
The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his Love, He will rejoice over you with singing." -Zeph 3:17